What I wish I could have said

(I had my speech ready but was too sick to actually go and deliver it this evening.  This is what I would have said.)

Good Evening Everybody

Wow what a colorful bunch!  

I was really curious to see how many of the ladies there tonight, also attended our first auction in 2002.

I was going to ask who was in kindergarden or grade one then and who is old enough to attend now.  

We have had a fantastic run.  We have given away over 120,000.00 dollars to our applicants. Almost every single cent raised tonight goes directly into the hands of women and their families that need it. I thank you all for entrusting us with the responsibility of ensuring this happens.

When we get an application, we have to do several things. 

We have to remove all judgment and stick to only the facts on paper. Long ago we decided to help people financially.  It is easy to measure success and less sticky than emotion. We are not in the business of healing. We have to remove our bias and judgement about how much a house cost or how much people pay for cable. That is not our place. We look only at the numbers.  

I am not going to tell a woman that is driving alone from Yorkton to Regina for chemo everyday in the winter that maybe she should cancel her cell phone. Her MLA did, when she went to him for help.  I didn't. 

We also need to make sure the applicant's privacy is very protected.  Only three of us ever know an applicant's name or where she lives.  After that, they are assigned a number and that is the only way that we refer to them.  This also helps us remain unbiased.  

 We also compare her to ourselves. Cancer can grow very quickly.  So you buy a travel trailer today.  Three days later you find a lump in your breast. You see, what I mean. Life changes on a dime. I have found that by comparing her to ourselves it is easier to remove judgement and just help where we can.

Ken, our lovely auctioneer tonight, was teasing me last night asking how I got wrapped up in this.  So for anyone who doesn't know, here goes. (PS This was also when I was going to encourage our guests to drink more because Ken and the rest of the guys look better after that! Kidding of course! Ken's pretty good  looking already :) (Sorry Marnie!) 

I moved to Qu'Appelle in 1998. I met Theresa Frederickson (nee Priddell) shortly after. We were friends until she passed in September of 2001. Sarah her daughter was a year older than my little girl.

In our knee jerk reaction, and joined by lots and lots of the women in our community, we mobilized and did the Run for the Cure...of course this was so long ago, it wasn't even called the Run for the Cure yet. We raised about $50,000 for research in those days but we noticed there was a huge gap in the quality of life for people.  

The gap was women with no prosthetic or wigs because they had no money. Women with cancer living off of the food bank or worse yet, losing their homes because when you don't work, you don't get paid. 15 weeks of EI can get eaten up pretty quickly, leaving a lot of women still sick and very poor. 

Imagine a mom telling her kids Santa couldn't come because she was sick.  Knowing there was no money for gifts or food for a meal. Imagine no new back pack for a little guys starting school because Mommy has cancer. And I tell you, that was one of the hardest phone calls ever.  I called and asked a very little voice if I could talk to Mommy and he said I couln't because she was sleeping. I hung up the phone and I cried.  And for the record, we made sure that he had all the new school supplies that he needed to start school.  The kids were five, three and one. 

We take away the stress of worrying about the power bill and the mortgage payments, in hopes that these women can gather strength and fight instead. 

We are not just another cancer education/research group. We make sure that the women that need lymphodema rehabilitation and support get it. The government doesn't pay for that. We do!

We make sure that prosthetics fit properly so spine's don't curve. We make sure that people don't get evicted or foreclosed on. SaskCancer doesn't do that. We do! But we can only do this with your help. What you all do here tonight makes a huge difference down the road for these women and their families. And on behalf of all of those women, we thank you. 

I'm sorry.  This was a long one.  (I guess it is a good thing that I wasn't able to attend. They might still be listening to me!) 

As everyone knows, I am rocking a cane this year.  A year ago, yesterday, March 21, 2013, I woke up with a pain in my hip. My health deteriorated and I am still not better and still undiagnosed. One day I think I am getting stronger and the next, I can't get out of bed.  Like tonight.  But I do feel like I am a fraction of what I was a year ago. 

So it is with a heavy heart and that I made a life altering decision to step down and leave Forever Friends. I have given this group, this cause, everything I have had for 13 years. I have been president for almost it's entire existence. It is a baby that I have watched grow. We were an unknown group and now social workers call us asking if we can help. The cancer agencies refers people to us. We meet people on the street that know who we are and what we do.  I have nurtured this organization second only to my children.  I am incredibly proud of what we have been able to accomplish. 

I step down knowing that it is in good hands. I know that the women that come after me will do a great job. I know my board will continue to lead in the area of quality of life for cancer support in Saskatchewan. We went from helping women with breast cancer in the Regina Qu'Appelle Health Region to helping all women in Saskatchewan with all types of cancer.  We started in our own kitchens as our kids played on the floor to a registered charity and our kids graduating. 

If you want to get involved, host a Lia Sofia party. Call Estelle and have a party. She donated part of the proceeds to us. Host a purse swap. Host a golf tournament. Approach your company about a donation. Volunteer on the board. There are a million ways to get involved. And not just with us, with any organization that you hold close to your heart. 

There are people who say, "Why would I get involved? What would it matter?"

This group has given me more amazing blessings than I have time to go over. These women have become my friends. These have been an awesome 13 years. It is with a heavy heart that I resign. But a very full heart, full of pride, love and gratitude. 

I appreciate all of you looking to me for leadership in the last 13 years.  This has been one of the best and one of the hardest things that I have ever done.  

And I will end as I began, with my glass raised to Theresa. "The joy of knowing her was worth the pain of losing her."

There but by the grace of God, go I.

Thank you for the amazing memories!  

http://www.foreverfriendsofhope.org 

We Are Getting Closer to the Ladies Night Auction

Our night draws closer.  We get more excited.  Yesterday I ordered the gift certificate for the Temple Gardens Mineral Spa stay donated by Plainsview Credit Union.  I know we have a pretty awesome kids ride on tractor from Young's Equipment.  We have jewelry, gift bags, and a pink purse from The Pink Tree.  

And we are still getting things coming in.  Planter's from Wood Country, Travel Bags from Dusyk and Barlow, and what is sure to be a great donation from Whoo Calls in Qu'Appelle.  We don't have it yet but last years was a Texas mickey!  This year we even have Lia Sofia earrings for some of the balloon pop items.  

The cheesecake bites are ordered, the liquor is on its way. We are having a great time putting everything together.  We are meeting on the 16 of March in Qu'Appelle to do my favorite part of the auction.  That is when we get everything together.  We take some of what we heard last year from the amazing women that support us every year.  We try our best to fix any suggestions that we have.  We try to make the experience amazing for everyone.  We really do listen.  

Our biggest complaint over the years has been that it runs too late.  We try really hard to get everything to end by 11.  That's not always possible when we have so many AWESOME donations.  But that is where the silent auction has come into play.  So rest assured we are listening and trying our best to make it a fabulous experience.   

And the biggest announcement of all is our balloon pop sponsor.  Matt Inglis is sponsoring our balloon pop this year.  Matt has been a huge sponsor since coming on board a few years ago.  He has volunteered as a man-whore...I mean server...for years and has always helped with a donation as well. So if you are looking for some financial planning his number is 306-530-1666.  If you would rather email his email is matthew.inglis@rbc.com and tell him we sent you.  He really knows his stuff!  Thanks again!  

Have a great day everyone!!!

Forever Friends Ladies Night Out Auction!

As we approach the auction, I am aware that I have not blogged as much as I did last year.  Although I am not working it seems as though I can not seem to find time to blog here.  I have been working on mine and selfishly I suppose, neglected this one.

The auction is on March 22 this year.  We have donation items rolling in and I am very excited to see what all is there in the final swoop.  It is always like Christmas morning when we sort everything out.  We separate the raffle, balloon pop, and auction items.  Find some cute door prize items, and call it a day.  We are separating everything on March 16 this year.

This year we have given away more money than ever before.  We helped a woman who needed to have a dental check up before cancer treatments on her throat.  Sask Health doesn't pay for check ups and only pays for extractions, nothing else.  We helped make sure she was ready for her treatments.

We helped a family we have helped in the past.  She was declared terminal and given three months, almost 2 years ago.  The first time I called the house their five year old answered the phone.  He said I couldn't talk to Mommy because she was sleeping.  I knew from the application that there was a younger set of twins.  I cried when I hung up the phone.  When we helped before it was before the CPP disability kicked in.  This time they were okay except for food.  They just needed food.  Imagine yourself looking at 3 kids under the age of 8 now and saying to yourself we're okay except for food.

Because my family and I are in a somewhat similar situation now, I can appreciate the situation these women are in even more.  Although I am not in a life threatening situation, (I don't think) it does bring to light the different sides of sickness.

I hope you all join us for the Ladies Night Out.  I have tickets, you can call 699-7788 and I will hook you up!  If you would like to donate something let us know and we will come and pick it up when it is convenient for you.