Our Last Meeting

Hello again all!

First I have to apoligize for my last rant.  Honestly one of the most emotional days of my life.  I find writing very cathartic so I appreciate the reads and the fact that none of my followers decided to un follow me after that.  So back to Forever Friends.

We had our monthly meeting on Sunday night.  We are lucky that we have a library in town that lets us have our meetings there.  So a big thank you to the Qu'Appelle Branch of the South East Regional Library.  We used to have our meetings at our houses and rotate through but then one of us always had to clean our house so this is a great alternative.  Although now that I think of it, the snacks are not as good as they used to be and sometimes we don't have snacks at all.  (I may have to bring that up...)

We had our normal house keeping to look after.  An update on the upcoming night at the casino, an update on the ticket sales for the quilt raffle, and some printing bills to pay. 

We also had applicants.  We had four applicants this month.  Amazingly enough we had all four of them come in the last week.  We are very blessed at FFOH.  Although now that I think about it, I guess we have designed it that way.  We don't have a lot of rules binding who we help.  We have been entrusted with money from our fantastic community.  Part of this trust I think is based on the fact that we try to do the right thing. 

Usually we help women.  However we got an application from a seventeen year old girl who needed a wig.  For her Grad.  In June.  Because we don't have a huge time constraint we are able to reply to her almost immediately.  She wants a wig that she can style.  Girls plan for years about grad.  Cancer should not take that away from you.  We won't let it. 

We heard from a woman that was going to face the loss of her house on Monday.  The day after our meeting.  We had to have the cashiers cheque to a courier before noon or they were sending everything to the lawyer to start foreclosure.  She had reconstructive surgery in December and then got an infection in her back and couldn't work for weeks.  We all know what it is like to get behind and then not be able to get caught back up.  She is still taking some pretty strong drugs to keep the cancer away now and for the next five years.  She works part time for minimum wage.  She can't work anymore than she does physically.  We helped her with the two payments she was behind and then with two more so she can catch her breath and heal both her heart and mind. 

We got an application from a woman that is now on palliative medication.  She was falling behind by 350 dollars a month.  We looked after the shortfall and a little extra for four months.  She is able to ask for more after four months if she needs it.  I would like to tell you more about this woman's story but her string of horrible luck is so bad that it could have only happened to one person in the last year and we don't want people to know who she is. 

Our last applicant was living on 1100 dollars a month.  She is married.  Her husband has health problems as well.  Her cancer fight was many years ago but she needed a new prosthetic.  Most of her prosthetic was covered by Sask Health because of their low income but the remainder we paid for. 

So this is the update from our last meeting.  Once again we are honoured with the trust our community has in us.  Thank you all for the ability to do this for women, for families. 

Thanks for reading. 

Twenty Years

I do a lot of volunteer work but sometimes the one who needs help is me.  I realised this today when I was sitting in the doctors office crying because someone finally listened to me. 

It started with a nurse practitioner in town who listened to my complaints about my chronic head aches and took steps to actually help me a few months ago. 

Over the years I have suffered with head aches.  I remember my first head and stomach ache in grade three.  I remember the doctor telling my mom that I probably just didn't like my teacher. 

After my kids were born a doctor told me "You have kids, what do you expect?" After a few years another doctor told me "You're a woman, that's what happens."  A few years after that one said "As long as you're working sixty hours a week don't come back to see me about this."  (And for the record, after I sold my business and didn't work at all for six months and the head aches were just as bad.)

Throughout the years I envied people with what I considered low grade headaches.  You know the people.  The ones who can take one or two Advil and the headache goes away.  I couldn't even imagine it.  To put it in perspective, when I get a head ache I take three extra strength Advil and two extra strength Tylenol about every two hours for three to five days.  I do this so I can function.  My headaches wake me in the night.  I was given Demerol, however that was kind of a joke.  (That by the doctor that told me I was a woman.)  I was also given a type of Aleve that was apparently quite strong.  These were not helpful unfortunately.  These all dealt with pain. 

My headaches peak in the evening usually in the third or fourth day.  And by peak I mean they get so bad that I will lay on the bathroom floor.  I have, in those dark moments, contemplated banging my head against the door frame.  The thought is that if I hit my head hard enough I would pass out and it wouldn't hurt anymore.   Even typing it sounds crazy.  But I know I'm not. 

Because I was lead to believe that my head aches were normal, it never occurred to me to go to the hospital.  (Which apparently does help you get noticed by the medical types.)

In all this craziness of Demerol, Advil, Tylenol, Maxolt and anything else I could try, I would wake my husband in the middle of the night to tell him what I was taking.  I wanted him to be able to tell the EMS if anything happened.  It became a running joke in our household because what could we do but laugh. 

So with my last really bad headache prompted my husband to tell me to go to the doctor again.  And he supported me/ badgered me until I went.  And this is when Angela came in.  She listened.  She ran some tests and tried me on some stronger pills.  (Maxolt is the spelling I think)  My pharmacist came into play here too.  She warned me about the pills, watched my refills and when I came back for the third refill in less than three months on a prescription that should have lasted a year, told me to go back to the doctor.  She told me the drugs weren't doing what they were supposed to.  Took the time to explain what they were supposed to do.  The best thing about a small town is that these people are your neighbours.  They care about you. 

The new pills reduce the size of the blood vessels therefore taking the pressure off in my brain.  They would take my pain away for a few hours but it would always return.  I know nothing about pills.  What I just told you is a dumbed down version of what they told me.  Most of what they told me I don't really remember.  I do remember Kelly telling me not to accidentally kill myself. 

But I understand how it happens.  How much you want the pain to just stop.  In March I had nine migraines.  With Maxolt they lasted two to three days.  Mathematically I had about nine or ten days without a migraine.  After every headache I have a half a day of a "brain bruise"  so what does that leave six or seven days in a month with no pain. 

When I type it its seems awful.  But my life is good.  Just this one area is tough. 

Today I went to a neurologist.  I got referred by Angela.  Again he listened to me.  Validated my pain and gave me something to try to prevent the headaches instead of treating the pain.  He told me that in three months my life will be better.  I believe him.  I cried.  I told him how much I appreciated him helping me. 

So here's to me and getting my life back. 

And because this blog is supposed to be about Forever Friends here's the tie in.  Some of the people in the medical field are fantastic.  Some aren't but in Canada we get health care so we can have a second opinion.  If you are in doubt about any aspect of your health go to a doctor until you get what you know you need.  I am a huge believer in intuition.  I have heard lots of stories with women that know something is wrong but get brushed off.  If you KNOW then trust yourself.  Go until you find someone that will listen to you. 

This is not to dog on doctors that have missed something.  To err is human.  This is to hold up the people that listen, to the members of the profession that are fantastic.  If you know them, tell them.  They deserve to hear it. 

Thanks to you all for the read today. 

Next up! April

April has been on Forever Friends of Hope for four or five years.  She was originally from Qu'Appelle and then returned after going to school and getting an education.  April and her husband bought a farm at Qu'Appelle and began their life. 

Shortly after I met April there was a hypnotist at the bar in Qu'Appelle.  I didn't know her well yet.   I had never been to a hypnotist before and didn't know what to expect.  Did you know that when you get hypnotised, they can't make you do anything that you don't believe in?  They can't make you go against your core moral beliefs.  April was one of the people that volunteered to get hypnotised.  About 20 people tried and only four or five actually went "under".  And April was one of them.

The hypnotist got them to pretend that they were famous people, on a beach that got hotter and hotter, things that were very innocent but funny.  Nothing humiliating just innocent fun.  One of the set ups the hypnotist asked was that they were to imagine that the rock star they admired the most and loved was preforming right in front of them.  There was screaming, hollering, and dancing.  He then told them that same rock star was back stage and requesting that they go back stage and wanted to have sex with them.  As the others went tearing off back stage to meet the imaginary rock star, April paused, looked at the doorway, shrugged her shoulders, walked over to her husband and sat down on his knee. 

This is the way April is.  Loyal and honest right to her core.  That night the hypnotist told her husband how lucky he was.  But I think he knew that already. 

April is in marketing and agriculture.  The marketing has been a huge asset to FFOH.  Her knowledge and experience is a blessing to us.  She also has contacts that are far flung and has helped expand our sponsorship area.  She is one of the partners that own SaskMade Market Place in Saskatoon which is a store that features all Saskatchewan product and merchandise.  Here is the link to the store if you want to have a look. http://www.saskmade.ca/

And if the farm, store and two kids and husband weren't enough, she also has a full time job...  I know I was thinking the same thing, What a slacker!  (I'm kidding.)  She is an amazingly busy woman. 

And one more thing, but don't tell her.  I am incredibly impressed by her.  She is the exact example of a strong woman that I am proud to know.  She is confident, classy and incredibly hard working.  She brings an amazing energy to the group. 

Just one more woman that I am amazed and blessed to have in my life!  Thank you all!

Shamless begging!

In the middle of the CKRM page there is a box that has links to important stuff that CKRM is affiliated with.  One of the things is a Blake Shelton cruise contest that you can win.  Another is Dr. Phil tickets.  And number six is FFOH!  Can you believe it?  We share print with those guys.  That is a super cool feeling.  It might not seem like much but to me it seems fantastic! 

Below is the link to buy tickets for our event.  If you would like to join us, please click on it and pick up your tickets.  We would love to have you.  We are pretty good at throwing a party so we would love to see you there! 

Click away and help us sell out our second event this year.  Boy would we have bragging rights then heh?

Find and buy 620 CKRM PRESENTS tickets at CASINO REGINA at admission.com http://www.admission.com/event/620-CKRM-PRESENTS-tickets/SGT1129?tm_link=tm_header_lang2&messnum=

Thanks everyone.  I appreciate your time!

Consciousness

Consciousness. 

It seems rather simple.  We are awake and moving about, therefore conscious right?  But is it?  Are we really living with purpose.  Truly awake?  I have talked before about being grateful for what we have, about really acknowledging our lives.  I don't want to bore you.  What I want to do is move you. 

We all know there is wrong in the world.  We all wish it could be different.  But how many people really do something about it? 

Anyone can throw money at a problem.  But as we all know, money does not solve problems.  It can help but not fix.  At FFOH we can help fix money problems but we can't fix cancer.  We can only help by reducing stress and allowing the focus to shift to healing. 

Change is a different animal all its own.  Change occurs in two ways.  Passively or violently.  Each has its own credibility and purpose.  Violence can invoke radical change very quickly.  It can backfire though.  People choose sides, education and personal opinion fuel the rage.  Usually hatred is ingrained and involved.  Kindness and respect is not part of the solution.  Changing your opinion becomes a "loss", giving up.  The longer we hold onto rage the more damage is done to the surrounding world.  Whether it is the fight between neighbours over a barking dog or countries over oil, the damage becomes far flung with divisions and hurt deepening with each passing day.

But passive change has draw backs as well.  Change is much slower.  There are sides to chose, however, the fight changes.  It becomes easier to change your mind, to say "I didn't think of it that way, you might be right." Both sides can be considered when finding a solution.  Respect is in the for front of both solutions.  Change is usually longer term, more acceptable, ongoing and progressive.

Years ago I watched a video on female genitalia mutilation or female circumcision,  that occurs in certain countries around the world.  In this example 8 year old girls had all external genitalia removed with a scalpel in a hut with no real sanitation and definitely no sedation.  Aunties and mothers held the girls down while it was done.  It sounds as horrible now as it did then.  My knee jerk reaction was "child abuse".  What is wrong with those people.  How could they! 

Then they explained the other side of the "fight".  Men chose women partially based on this procedure.  Women who did not have this done we not acceptable by the society in the country.  This procedure was done to keep women faithful to a husband and family.  They would be unmarried and shamed.  Sentenced to a life of poverty and ridicule.  No mother wants that for her child either. 

As the documentary progressed, they women were simply shown a different way.  As you can imagine child birth was terrible for these women.  Scar tissue sometimes made delivering a child impossible.  Death during child birth was rampant.  Infections took a terrible toll on the children going through it.  The women were taught about the female body, its inner workings.  Shown the purpose of each part.  They dispelled the myth of the connection between genitalia and promiscuity.  By education they showed the women there was a better way.  At the end they had convinced the women doing it to stop.  The women symbolised the change by turning in the rusty scalpels that they used for the procedure. 

Change was long lasting and real.  But not quick.  This took years to change.  But it changed. 

My point today is simple.  Be change.  Pick a cause, any cause.  Whatever is near and dear to your heart.  It can be simple.  It can be as simple as walking away from a racist joke.  It can be writing a letter to a politician about something you feel should change.  It can be joining a cause.  Marching in the streets, or raising money for a donation.  If you take a tiny step out of your comfort zone you will be amazed at what you can accomplish.  Each one of us has a voice.  We can all "be change" in our world. 

Whatever you decide to do, do it with consciousness.  Don't thoughtlessly throw money at a cause.  Participate in it.  Choose your cause with deliberation.  It is your time and money.  Choose well.  And the way you will know if you are successful in your choice will be in how you feel after you participate.  If you feel better about yourself and what you have brought to this planet, then you were successful. 

When we are successful in helping a women with cancer, it makes us feel good.  It fills us up emotionally.  It sustains us for the work, the fund raising  and bill paying that lies ahead.  When we do that I know we have been successful. 

This leaves us open to be "Amazed and Blessed"

Thanks to you all.  This is a little heavier than my usual and I appreciate your time and support. 

Beginnings

Part of my success in my whole life (Don't worry I am not that successful, just always managed to keep the lights on.) has always been because I was to stupid to realise that I couldn't do something.  I attribute that success to FFOH as well.  We were shocked at how hard it was to break into the cancer "inner circle".  I understand now that part of that is that there are so many fly by night charities or organizations that start and close after a few months or years.  There are no words for the level of commitment a board must have to remain vibrant and even to grow.  In our organization there are even more requirements because we have no employees.  The commitment of the board to do these things on their own time and for free is massive. 

It is also some of the reason that some charities fold.  Its also the reason that charities have to have employees.   We are choosing to try and get some satellite groups going to help us.  We need other folks in other health regions to begin a chapter of FFOH in order to take some of the stress of our board.  We are still getting by but as we grow we can see where the shift will be necessary.  Even if we had a chapter in the northern part of Saskatchewan and we were in the south it would be a huge help. 

So to our Saskatoon or PA supporters think about it.  No pressure...well some pressure.  We are doing more work with the Hope Cancer Center in Saskatoon (I sit on the board there as well via Skype.) and that has brought us more applicants from the northern part of the province. 

So if you want this to be you

Give us a call today!
Thanks everyone for the reads and "shares".
Have a great day.  Spread Kindness.  It goes a really long way!

More to do

Hello again all. 
It's been another busy week.  We have to pay out 1800 dollars worth of mortgage payments to one applicant and work to support another.  Having money to do this is always my first priority.  My worst fear has always been not having enough money to help people when they ask for it. 

Our belief is that people don't usually ask if they don't need it.  We do our research and help people as much as we can with what we have.  That's why all the fundraising we do is so important. 

And speaking of fundraising, isn't this the best looking group you have ever seen.  I may be biased but that is my opinion.   This picture was taken just before we opened the doors at the auction.  And two of these beotches are wearing their actual grad dresses.  I won't say which two but they know who they are.  And for the record I am not one of them.  Good on ya gals.  Don't mistake my envy for anything else. 

 I am very grateful to know and work with these ladies.  They have all taught me something.  I think the most important part of wisdom is knowing that I don't know much at all, and these women know a lot and share it willingly.  (Sometimes very willingly).  We have been very lucky.  We haven't fallen victim, as a board, to some of the troubles that some boards have.  We all get along.  Some days better than others but for the most part, pretty well. 

I think that we all keep our eye on the prize, so to speak.  We all know why we are doing what we are doing and are proud to keep doing it.  That feeling over rides everything else. 

If anyone out there wants to help out with Forever Friends we would love to have you.  Our annual general meeting is in June and we would be honored to have more members.  I will keep you posted on the date and time.  (Someone knows when it is, its just not me.)

And thanks to SGI Canada for their bronze sponsorship for our 620 CKRM Saskatchewan's got Talent this fall.  Thanks guys!