Introductions-My friend, My inspiration

The first person I want to introduce you to is Theresa.  She has been gone for 10 years now.  She passed away in September of 2001.  Unfortunately in a situation like this when someone passes away before their time, we get caught up in the event of their passing.  The details that lead up to it, the why and the how.  That's not my story to tell.  That explains nothing of her, of the person she was. 

She had a huge smile and eyes that lit up when she grinned.  I have a moment of her, frozen in my mind.  Sitting beside me on the couch with her head thrown back laughing.  Even now when I think of her that is the picture that forms first.  She used to tease me that my daughter was so flexible that she would be a gymnast or a stripper.  (Thankfully my daughter is in gymnastics.)

I had just moved to town and wasn't sure how to go about meeting people.  I ran into her one day, was unsure of who exactly she was.  She had heard I had a daughter younger than hers, and offered to bring some clothes over that her girl had outgrown.  She did and we had our first coffee.  We got together a lot after that.  More women joined us.  We started having coffee as a group at least once a week.  Our kids were the same age and there was about two other women that joined us.  Then three, then it grew a life of its own.  Then we started getting together one night a week with out the kids.  We shared some wine and some laughs.

At one of our coffees we counted 17 kids.  We laughed together.  We celebrated together.  Occasionally we cried together.  During this time we knew she had cancer.  There wasn't much we could do except laugh and drink wine together.  My guess is now that is exactly what she needed. When her hair fell out from the chemo she teased us that she was the lucky one because she didn't have to shave her legs.  We joked that people would pay for that if it just worked on hairy legs.  And we laughed.

She got sicker.  But not so that you would have really noticed.  She would call me and tell me to meet her and her kids at the park with my kids.  The first time I tried to say I didn't have time to go, I was cleaning the house and baking.  She stopped me.  She said the mess will be there when you get home.  Made me go with her.  A few days later she brought me a copy of this.  She stuck it up on my fridge. 

Dust if you must, but wouldn't it be better
To paint a picture, or write a letter,
Bake a cake, or plant a seed;
Ponder the difference between want and need?

Dust if you must, but there's not much time,
With rivers to swim, and mountains to climb;
Music to hear, and books to read;
Friends to cherish, and life to lead.

Dust if you must, but the world's out there
With the sun in your eyes, and the wind in your hair;
A flutter of snow, a shower of rain,
This day will not come around again.

Dust if you must, but bear in mind,
Old age will come and it's not kind.
And when you go (and go you must)
You, yourself, will make more dust

Author unknown

She also told me to treasure the moment, taught me that right now is the greatest gift, that's why it's called the present.  That was on something that she gave me too.  I can't remember it all but I know I embraced it. 

After that first time, I never said no to her again.  If she wanted to do something we did it.  If she wanted to take the kids somewhere we did it.  When it was time for coffee well then it was coffee time.  And we enjoyed ourselves.  We visited and we laughed. 

And then we lost her.  She went into the hospital and never came out.  It took a month for me to be able to make supper.  I would burn the meat and serve raw potatoes.  Nothing came together like it should.  I felt lost.  And I was only her friend.  I could never imagine the loss her family felt.  The empty spot that is still there.  And with that lost feeling we all got together and raised money for the Breast Cancer Action Saskatchewan Run that first year.  And that as they say is history.  From that feeling of loss, Forever Friends was born.  From that loss we built this organization.  

I would not be the person I am now if it wasn't for her.  I am grateful to her for the person I am now.  For the mother, friend and wife I am now.  All of our experiences shape us.  Dr. Phil says that time does not heal all wounds, but rather it is what you do with the time that matters.  I think it has been time well spent.  I also know she would be proud of all that has been done in her name. 

Thank you for reading.